Frank Zappa Sucks

Frank Zappa Sucks

Whether or not humor belongs in music, Frank Zappa doesn’t. It is an objective fact that he didn’t even want to be making this trash, so why are you listening to it? Oh, you’re in on the joke. Cool, cool. That must be fun to say out loud to yourself while listening to Zappa albums since no other living person has ever wanted to participate in that activity with you. Who needs friends when you have some asshole with a mustache, a ton of recording gear and absolutely no respect for you as a listener, right?

Zappa’s autobiography should have been titled Being An Asshole To Make Music To Be An Asshole To.

Eminem Sucks, Part 4

Eminem Sucks, Part 4

We know what you’re thinking. How could this possibly be the last episode in the podcast’s series on Eminem? There’s still so much left to talk about regarding the past 20 years of his career, right? Yeeeaaaahhhh, no, not really.

You haven’t seen or heard anyone outside of a message board bring up Eminem for the past two decades for several reasons and today we’re going to talk about all of those. We’re also going to talk about why the band Imagine Dragons is this guy’s fault but you’ll need to tune in to hear all of that and more, plus a bonus recap of his most embarrassing beefs!

Eminem Sucks, Part 3

Eminem Sucks, Part 3

By now you already know what the deal is. Here’s the third installment in our podcast’s series on the most over-rated rapper in history, Eminem. After taking you through the early days when he accused other rappers of faking freestyles while doing it himself, then accused everyone else of “just imitating” when he was the one biting everyone else, it’s time to look at the climate of controversy this fool tried to generate around himself and why he even thought that was a good idea. Specifically, what can the career of a loser named Marilyn Manson teach us about the career of Eminem? Is the album The Eminem Show the key to understanding everything that went wrong here? Is it even possible to measure the damage that was done to the history of rap music by the movie 8 Mile? At this point, are we even sure Eminem is a good rapper on a fundamental level?

Until a bunch of YouTubers strip mine everything we say and repeat it on gigantic platforms then everyone starts to believe everyone always knew all this stuff about Eminem, the answers to those questions are only in one place: right here on Your Favorite Band Sucks!

Eminem Sucks, Part 2

Eminem Sucks Part 2

Oh boy, it’s time for Part 2 of What Would Happen If the T-Shirt Rack at Spencer’s Gifts Started Rapping and a Bunch of Morons Decided It Was a Top 5 MC of All Time!

Just in case there are any, like, extra dumb people reading this, obviously you should make sure to listen to Part 1 of this series before listening to Part 2. But once that’s taken care of, step right on up to learn more about the dark and mysterious music business machinations behind the scenes of Eminem’s breakout years. Why would Dr. Dre get behind this clown? What was going on at Interscope Records that made them invest so heavily in giving Slim Shady a career? Exactly who were all those haters and imitators Eminem kept complaining about? These answers and more, today on Your Favorite Band Sucks!

Eminem Sucks, Part 1

Yo, yo, yo, yo! What it is, homeys?! Y’all heard of this phenomenal rap star who rhymes all these insanely shocking things nobody else would dare to say and used to be a total killer on the freestyle battle rap scene? Yeah, bruh! The Emliest of Ems, Slim Shady!

Alright, just kidding. It’s us. We’re back. Just in time for Eminem to also be back with a new album, except what he’s gonna do is try to keep pretending all that BS is true about his early career and what we’re here to do is fill you in a whole lot of truth. This dude IS wack, WAS wack and will ALWAYS be wack. Don’t believe it could possibly be true? Tune in here to the first of several episodes on the actual death of Slim Shady. When all is said and done you’ll have no choice but to agree: Eminem sucks!

SOUNDGARDENSUCKS

Soundgarden Sucks

This holiday season we thought it would be nice to bring back a truly deep, old-school Q4 discount by taking 100% off the value of Soundgarden, one of the most overrated bands of all time. If the dude with the microphone is just going to scream all the time then shouldn’t the music be heavier? How can the fans call this good songwriting when all of the lyrics are idiotic nonsense? Why is the most annoying drummer you know going to punch a hole in their bedroom wall when you send them a link to this?

All these questions and more will be answered in today’s episode of the podcast: Soundgarden Sucks!

(BTW we are running an actual sale this weekend, too. Promo code CREED4EVER gets you 30% off podcast merch until Tuesday!)

Cream Sucks

Please consider this episode of the podcast your one-time-only, always-true, get-it-tattooed-somewhere-on-your-body-and-never-worry-about-new-facts-coming-to-light reminder: you do not under any circumstances need to hand it to the band Cream. Forget every stupid Boomer joke you’ve ever heard that implies Eric Clapton was once a good guitarist or was once in a good band. It’s always been a myth. Cream was unquestionably the most over-rated band of the 1960s and anyone who wants to argue about that has no good opinions on music.

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The 1975 Sucks

The 1975 Sucks

If you’ve heard of The 1975 but aren’t really sure where, they’re the British one with the lead singer who’s been giving everyone a different reason to hate him every week or so for the past few years. Meanwhile Mark and Tyler hate the whole band because they’ve never released a good song, which used to be the barrier of entry on anyone caring enough to pay attention to the antics of a band’s lead singer. This ain’t Oasis, people! It’s a pretty simple rule: if you wouldn’t listen to the guy sing, don’t listen to him talk. What you should be listening to instead is this brand new episode of the podcast about how much The 1975 sucks!

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